Taking time for you. This post is for caregivers.

The Problem

As caregivers the focus is on our loved one. What do they need? How can they be more comfortable? What needs to be done to keep them safe? What schedule, what medications, do they have a doctors appointment today? The caregivers needs get pushed to the side. “What? No, thank you but I can’t leave to go out and get coffee” Friends try to understand but they don’t always. I watched my mother feel like she couldn’t help her father or her sister when grandmother declined. My aunt simply felt she couldn’t take the time off something might go wrong and no one else would be able to calm her.

The Miracle Cure

The society we live in today seems to have found this MAGICAL cure “SELF-CARE” they call it. They preach it now from the streets, the rooftops, the carpool line, every social media page. Super helpful right… “Why didn’t I think of that” I will just push the “pause button” on life and go do some self care. HECK let’s take 3 weeks in Tahiti with spa days and beaches and fruity drinks.  It just isn’t that simple. So self care has to look different.

Reality How tos:

1. Home Health –Some of us have access to home health who can send someone to sit with our loved one for an hour or more where maybe we can just go sit in the car or go grab that drink with a friend. If you can use it DO IT and try not to feel guilty about it.

2. Scream –If that isn’t an option for you and for many it is not. Don’t be afraid to make sure they are in a safe location for a few minutes and go SCREAM in a pillow let those thoughts and frustrations out they are NORMAL it is ok, it doesn’t make you a bad person to think harsh things in the moment. The care taker life isn’t easy.

3. Delivery, Punching, Attacking?—Maybe you door dash some dinner because you are more than a little bit tired of life. Maybe you scroll social media and watch all the comedic videos and pretend your reality isn’t real. That’s ok too. Order your self flowers, punch your pillow, heck put your mattress on the wall and attack that thing. (Don’t throw your back out ….)

4. CRY–Do what you need to even if it is sitting in the car crying to get your emotions out. I don’t think I have mentioned yet. There is a reason we feel a bit better when we cry. Crying is therapeutic for the body. It can release tensions.

5. Support–Last tip, see if you can find a support group of other caregivers even if it is online, set up a chat room ( I can help- just reach out) grab your favorite beverage and laugh and cry together.

Well that is all for today. I hope it was helpful. If you made it to the end of this rambling and like it, go ahead and subscribe then share it with someone it may help. I will draw a winner from the Subcribers Mid-April and send a gift card to a local business here in Omaha.

#seniorlife #caregivertips #caringformomanddad #caringformyparents #aging